10/27/2013

As time went by, it became more difficult to keep things that were happening in any kind of chronological order. The demands of daily living began to crowd out the things that I felt were of much greater importance, like the case against the person who had caused the accident. I was beginning to understand, however, that we definitely had no control over any of that. We were in contact with the Assistant District Attorney in charge of the case, but I realize now that he was in a difficult position himself. From his point of view, he was trying to use his years of experience to deal with all of us novices in a realistic way, but we didn't want realism. At least, I didn't. I'm somewhat ashamed to admit that I wanted the man who had so carelessly and thoughtlessly caused all of my grief to be punished. I didn't really care what the law said was possible or probable in such a case. I wanted justice. I wanted the man to feel some kind of remorse. I wanted to know that his life was ruined in the same way my life  was now in tatters. We were told that the man had quickly secured a lawyer and had put any kind of financial assets into his wife's name so as to head off any claim to them any of us might try to pursue in the future. At one point, we were approached by his lawyer to gauge our interest in joining them in a possible lawsuit against the man's healthcare providers, who we were told might be negligent in providing him with some medication he may or may not have been taking at the time of the accident, and which may or may not have contributed to the accident taking place. But the tests done on him at the hospital the night of the accident showed no such substance was present in his system. Apparently, that was more to the point. His lawyer seemed to intimate that he was off his medication because he hadn't been properly instructed on how to take it. We were outraged that anyone, even a low-life attorney, would think for one single second that we would in any way want to profit from our son's death. I'm not sure what we would have done to the man if he had made such an unthinkable, insulting proposal to us in person, but I believe he would have had trouble getting out of the room in one piece.

I suppose he might have found takers in a situation like this in previous cases, but it wouldn't be us. We were not interested in his blood money proposal. That wouldn't bring our son home to us. Even if it did, how do you put a monetary value on a person's life? No, I wanted simple justice. I knew, of course, that even that would not restore my son to me. Nothing could do that, but I wanted justice for my son. I wanted this man to know that my son was a valuable, loved human being who had had a bright future stretching out before him until it was horribly cut short due to one man's negligence. I wanted justice. I really wasn't sure at the time exactly what I meant by that, nor did I realize how hard we would have to fight to get it. I just knew I wanted justice for my son-whatever that ended up being.