12/17/2013

     Even during those first few shocking, mind-numbing moments as we were given the news of our son's death I already started thinking that if this were true everything would be changing-my relationship with my wife and children, how I perceived and related to the world, how I viewed myself-everything! A darker thought also was already taking root during those first horrible minutes: is it even possible to survive something like this, and if so, how? As I mentioned previously, this eventuality is not something one can prepare for. Indeed, it's not something one even wants to consider could ever actually occur. It's just too horrible to even think about, as if thinking about it would somehow be  tempting the fates into making it a reality. Ready or not, like it or not this most terrible of possibilities had now become our new reality. Our lives had been suddenly thrown into absolute and total chaos, spiraling and spinning wildly beyond our control. Our darkest fear became real in the blink of an eye. All that was left to be determined now was how would we respond, as individuals and as a family. It was a very frightening and unsettling thought that what we chose to do in the coming days, both singly and together, would greatly determine the rest of our lives for good or for ill.