11/27/2013

   Our journey through this valley of grief sometimes led us in directions I never would have anticipated. One such experience came when we were guided to consult with a medium. I realize many people are skeptical of such things and some even feel they are downright evil and spiritually dangerous. For myself, I had never really put much stock in the clairvoyant abilities some people claimed to have, but enough unexplainable things had happened around us since Curtis's death that I was at least becoming more open to the idea of being able to communicate with people on the other side. We had experienced what I came to learn was some pretty common phenomena: lights going on and off, a feeling of Curtis's spirit being present in our house, the sound of footsteps upstairs when we knew no one (including our dog) was up there, the story from one of our neighbors that she had seen Curtis standing behind us when she was visiting us, other people telling us they had seen him, flashes of light showing up in photos of us that the photographers could not explain, my wife feeling Curtis put his arms around her like he had always done. I know to some of you this all probably sounds crazy, but I was really missing my son. If someone could communicate with him for us that was OK with me. Besides, the way this all came about was pretty mysterious in its own right. Carly was playing on a softball team at this time. Her coaches, of course, were aware of our situation, and one day one of them approached us. She explained to us that she had felt compelled to talk to us about something that was on her mind and heart, but hadn't known what to say or how we would receive her message. It seems that a friend of hers was a fairly well-known medium here in Southern California. The coach said that she had never talked with her friend about us-there was no reason to-her friend did not know us, and the coach didn't really know us, either, except through coaching Carly. One day, out of the blue, the coach's friend asked her if there was someone she knew who had recently experienced a grievous loss and was really struggling to cope. She said that the death involved a young man who had been killed in an auto accident. The coach thought of us immediately. She said that if we would be interested, she could put us in touch with her friend. We got the information and thought about this for a few days, and eventually decided to make an appointment for a reading. I still wasn't sure about all of this, but I  deeply wanted to know that my son was all right on the other side. I realize to some people this would indicate a lack of faith in God's promises, but at the time I was very angry with God. I really didn't much care whether God approved or not. In my mind, God had allowed something to happen in my life  of which I greatly disapproved- he had allowed my son to die. I didn't need His approval. If someone could bring me comfort through something like this that was OK with me.