02/22/2014

   This weekend marks the final two days of this week marking the thirteenth anniversary of our son's death. Thirteen years ago today we said our final goodbyes to Curtis at his funeral and burial services. Tomorrow marks the thirteenth anniversary of the last of the funerals for the three friends that were held on three consecutive days during that terrible week. I don't expect that anything else that ever happens in my life (short of losing my wife or another one of my surviving children, God forbid) will have the far-reaching and devastating impact of those two horrible days-the day we lost our son and the day we had to forever leave his body at the cemetery. As I've stated before, this whole situation just seems to have violated the natural order of things. Oddly enough, I have not really felt much of anything emotionally today. The passing of time has certainly dulled the pain, although my memories of this day 13 years ago are still as vivid as ever. But now I filter them through a different perspective. I'm again able to focus more on all the positives that we have worked so hard to bring to fruition, rather than the pain of what to me remains as a senseless loss for us. Next up on the horizon of my journey will be what would have been Curtis's 28th birthday on March 7th. After that, on March 15, will be the Curtis Workman Hoops Classic Basketball Tournament at Southridge Middle School in Fontana. It has become a wonderful event that serves as an annual memorial to our son. Besides giving us an opportunity to reunite with family and friends, it also serves to let other people know what a remarkable person Curtis really was. We are also able to raise money (through the Tournament snack bar) to sustain The Curtis E. Workman Memorial Scholarship at Ontario High School. It has always been something we look forward to every year. It gives us tremendous joy and inspiration to be able to give back this way to the communities that supported us so much during those dark days 13 years ago. In the meantime, I am grateful to be where I am today. Back in February of 2001, I wasn't sure I could survive what was happening to us. I wasn't even sure back then that I wanted to survive if it truly meant living the rest of my life without my son and being in such constant pain. Time and love have done their work. Curtis will always be a part of my life. The love he left behind will never fade as long as anyone he touched continues to carry that love with them and they pass it on to others. I feel him with me always in so many different ways. I don't think that it was a coincidence that today of all days while I was thinking about what I wanted to write (or if I even did want to write something today) the song Forever Young came on the radio. That was the last song we played for Curtis to close the service at the cemetery. My wife commented that this was Curtis's way of letting me know he was still with me. I believe that. My precious son will always be with me.