07/05/2013

   When I awoke in the morning, I had no moment of delusional bliss about what had happened the previous night. Unfortunately, I remembered all too clearly the unthinkable truth-our beloved Curtis was dead. I wanted to never have to get out of bed again. I felt like if I didn't get up I would not have to  face all the things that had been put into motion by the accident. I felt an emptiness in my stomach and a sudden sense of despair and hopelessness unlike anything I'd ever felt before. I wasn't sure quite what to do, but then I thought about my wife and daughter. Were they still asleep? Was my wife awake and feeling anything like what I was feeling? My son was still asleep, so I decided I had to go find my wife. I needed to be with her. She was already awake as well, although my daughter was still asleep. We embraced. I honestly don't remember if we even said anything to each other. We knew there would be things-horrible things- to take care of that day. We made some more early morning calls. My school principal called expressing her condolences, asking to please let her know if there was anything they could do for us, to take as much time as I needed, and to keep them apprised of any services. There was that thought again. Services. We would need to begin making plans for our son's funeral services. Where to begin?