07/27/2013

   Plans had begun to take shape for the funeral services for the three children. The services for one of Curtis's friends would be first with the viewing on Tuesday evening and the funeral on Wednesday. Curtis's viewing would be Wednesday evening at the mortuary with the funeral service on Thursday at the United Methodist Church. The services for the daughter of the parents who had been driving would be on Friday at the same church where the Friday evening memorial service had been held. (This would give them more time to recover from their injuries.) That's right-services of one kind or another would be held on four consecutive days. We didn't really work together on that schedule, other than it was important to us that they be held individually for each child so that their common friends could attend all of the services if they wished. I wasn't sure I was going to be able to  make it through such a week. I knew I'd be there for Curtis, but it was important to me that I try to support the other families as well. We really weren't entirely sure what we wanted for Curtis's funeral. We knew we would need pallbearers. We wanted to choose some people who had been especially important in Curtis's life to deliver eulogies. We knew we would want music, both what was important to us and what he would have liked. Our oldest son was involved in the instrumental music program at the high school, and we had gotten involved with the booster program ourselves. Curtis also had joined the band program that year when the band director assured him that he would also be able to participate in sports. We had become close to many people in the band, both students and adults. Over the past few days, many of the band students had expressed a desire to honor Curtis through their talents. We thought it would be very appropriate for the drum line to play at the service since Curtis had been a part of that group. We contacted the president of the parent booster club to see if such a thing could be worked out. She was very positive that it would be no problem, but she actually had bigger things in mind. She asked us if we would be ok with us if the entire band performed at the service. She said that only using the drum line would leave out a lot of students who really wanted to honor Curtis as well. She'd already talked to the band director about it as well as the principal and people at the district office. Everyone was on board. She'd even talked to the students about it and only three students had indicated that they didn't think they could handle the situation emotionally and would prefer not to perform at the service. We were overwhelmed! We hadn't even known a thing like this was possible, let alone already in the works. However, she wasn't done yet. She also told us that if we needed a facility at which to hold a reception following the service the school had offered to open the cafeteria to us as a reception site.She also was willing to get parents from the booster club to help with acquiring and serving the food and drinks if we wanted. We were so grateful. We gladly accepted her many kindnesses. We knew we would never be able to repay her for all she was doing for us, but some years later we actually did have the opportunity to pay her back in kind. For now, we were so grateful that these things were now in her capable hands. We had no doubts that all would be done as she planned. When she set her mind to something, it got done! Other things fell into place as well. Everyone we contacted about serving as a pallbearer or to deliver a eulogy said they would be honored. We decided on the pieces of music for the service itself (besides what the band would perform) and for the viewing service. Most of the music for the funeral would be our choice. The music for the viewing time would be Curtis's favorites. We had taken care of so many more details, but it still seemed like all this was planning for a party, and when the party was over Curtis would be coming home. I think one thing that made it extra difficult to face reality was that we had not yet in all these busy, awful days actually seen our son's lifeless body. It was still too easy to fool myself into thinking that he wasn't really gone. God could still perform a miracle, couldn't He?