07/29/2013

   The visitation service for Curtis's friend (the other boy killed in the accident) was held at a local mortuary different from the one handling the arrangements for Curtis. As we entered the chapel, the first thing I noticed was the overwhelming scent of all the flower arrangements. The aroma took me back to those long-ago funeral services of my youth, when we lost so many family members within about a two year span, including my oldest brother. My wife was intercepted by some people she knew, so I went to find us some seats. I knew it was probably a completely unrealistic notion, but I really hoped that somehow I would not have to talk to anyone at the service. I just wanted to pay my respects to the family and get on to our appointment with the minister at the Methodist church. I was just about to be seated when a person from the boy's family came and greeted me with a big smile at her face. I remember thinking that her smile seemed to be very much out of place in the given situation. What she said to me, a grieving parent, seemed even less appropriate than her large grin.  "I just have so much joy and peace over this situation. I just know he's safe in the arms of the Lord!" I wanted to slug her. I had perceived myself to be a faithful child of the living God most of my life, but I was struggling to see anything joyous or peaceful in our current situation. Even if that was the way she honestly felt, I didn't feel it was appropriate of her to say that to me. (In the coming days and weeks, this person would prove on other occasions to be extremely insensitive and unthinking about what we were experiencing.)  I hoped there might someday come a time when I could look at our loss with something besides this incredible pain I was feeling, but if that were to happen I knew it was a long way down the road. I was ready to leave before we even sat down! I had to force myself to stay a respectful amount of time. After all, we were really there to pay our respects to one of our beloved son's dearest friends who had left this life at the same time as our son. It wasn't his fault that one of his relatives was talking like a fool. After a few minutes, we made our exit. That was the only time I felt a tiny bit grateful that we had promised the minister we would do our best to get to the appointment on time. We had yet more business to take care of.